What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

TEXT:

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Have you ever had your crush reject you, and then later you all dated and married?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

What do you think about the NFA full auto band? Weapons built before 1986 can be transferred and registered? But we can't have an 87? But older weapons tend to be far more powerful. I think we should drop it. Input?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Why am I tired all the time?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Are there any nude pictures of women with big tits?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Make Nazis afraid again!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What is your favorite underrated movie and why? What makes it underrated? How did you find it?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Can men enjoy receiving anal sex?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!